Allyn Evans
www.allynevans.com
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Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Recently, I have been teaching teens and young adults how to be assertive and manage conflict in their lives.
As I am repeating the lessons, I am also reminding myself to use clear and direct communication with others.
As I am repeating the lessons, I am also reminding myself to use clear and direct communication with others.
For years, I didn’t do this. I found more comfort using a passive aggressive route, which meant if I wasn’t getting my needs or wants met, I’d find more manipulative ways to do so. Or even worse, I wouldn’t tell anyone and wouldn’t make any attempt—manipulative or not—to get my needs or wants met.
Now, when I realize it’s time to voice something, I find it much easier to do. I’m sure being older and more experienced helps.
Now, when I realize it’s time to voice something, I find it much easier to do. I’m sure being older and more experienced helps.
As I told the over thirty students I visited with this past week: “Don’t wait to become assertive. Don’t wait to start communicating in a clear and direct manner. Start now. Take small steps. Begin now to build your assertiveness muscle.”
Tell the young people in your life this message. It will save them lots of heartache and pain.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Cruising Again!
It's official. I have been invited back to cruise again. My next trip will be in January 2011.After being without my desktop for three weeks (can I say "computer virus!"), I finally found the opportunity to download more pictures. So before closing this chapter of my blog, enjoy the show!
My favorite beach: Governor's Island, Grand Turk.
Another fun time was on Princess Cays (Eleuthera Island). See our ship in the distance. We were dropped off and picked up by "tender" boats.
We visited the Butterfly Farm in St. Thomas. You can visit their website and find out how to attract more butterflies to your yard or garden. The trick is having a host plant and a food plant. The Butterfly Farm website lists plants and butterflies by region to help you.
Here I am speaking. It's my last presentation of the cruise. I did three 45 to 60 minute presentations.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
While sitting on the beach last week in Princess Cays, Bahamas, I turned to my mother and said, "Dreams really do come true."In December 2008, I couldn't stop thinking about my desire to travel.
As luck would have it, a good friend had just recently met Daniel Hall. She shared his contact information with me and I downloaded his ebook about cruising for free a few days later.
I followed Daniel's directions and before I knew it I was approved to sail with Princess.
By May 2009, I had my trip scheduled!
What a fabulous experience. Everything about the ship and the crew exceeded all my expectations. Here's a photo of the name plate on my door. Guess you now know what my first name is!
My mother and I were assigned a room in the crew area. We had a nice place to reside with plenty of storage. :)
I spoke in the Princess Theater for one presentation (to left) and Club Fusion (below).
Personally, I can't wait to get back on board! And for all of you I met while speaking, I would love to hear from you.
Allyn Evans
http://www.allynevans.com/
Email me!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Living in Oklahoma
Sunday, January 10, 2010
A Day In My Life
It's unseasonably cold in Oklahoma. It's so cold that our pool has ice it in and we are working day and night to keep the water flowing and skimmer clear.Enjoy the pictures. The middle one shows some of the ice we removed from the pool yesterday.
Also for fun, there is a YouTube video you might enjoy. It's about correcting a disorder for the annoyingly cheerful. Click here to enjoy!
Allyn Evans
www.allynevans.com
Email me!
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Oklahoma, ice, pool, Allyn Evans, annoyingly cheerful
Saturday, January 2, 2010
My Favorite Dress
“Homer, I was born for this."In the movie October Sky when Homer expresses a desire to do something else, his Dad discourages him.
He then says, “It shouldn’t surprise you that you were born for it too.”
As the scene unfolded, Homer returned to his job at the coal mine. With his face covered in black soot, the son joined the other lifers in the elevator as they headed to work.
As I continued watching a replaying of October Sky, the story made me think about my own life.
No, I never ended up shoveling coal, but I listened to all the opinions of others about my life and how I should live it. So caught up in what others believed, I ignored my own desires and intuition—my own guidance system…my own feelings. I grew into an unsure adolescent taking my clues about how I should behave from others. Without a clear direction of my own, I lost myself.
In October Sky, Homer lost his way too. The analytical, scientific-minded son was different from his family. Homer didn’t quite fit.
Turns out, I didn’t fit either. I changed myself to fit the pre-cut pattern—the one purchased for me at the fabric store before I was born.
The pattern was perfect. The pieces were carefully sewn.
And then I was asked to wear it—a pastel dress with pink flowers and lace collar.
But, I yearned for a different dress, one made out of velvet and covered in dark, vibrant purples, gold and black hues.
Turns out, I ended up wearing the pastel dress for most of my life. By the time I gave myself permission to wear the dress I desired, it no longer fit.
My five-year-old self recognized a problem. At least my subconscious mind did and tried to warn me in my dreams. Nightly, my reoccurring nightmare frightened me. Walking down a narrow shrinking hallway, I found myself trapped. At the end of the hall I discovered a locked door. Banging frantically on the door, I screamed: “Let me out! Please, let me out.”
The dream told the story. With each passing day I would shrink becoming less of the person I was destined to be. Locked out, I would remain small, contained and not myself. With each step, I hid the shadow parts and became someone that I was not.
For survival purposes, those parts had to disappear. It was more important to be a good little girl than to be myself.
And, who I was, by my very nature and the place I found myself, wasn’t quite right. My parents, family and friends were victims too. They all bought into the cultural belief that I had to be trained in order to fit, just as they themselves had been trained.
I remember several years ago watching the latest winner of American Idol sing on the Ellen DeGeneris Show. Fantasia Barrino, a talented performer and singer, shared her self doubts. During her appearance on the show, Fantasia shared, “I’m happy that people like me being me!” And, that’s when I finally got it. The most important thing for us to do is to be ourselves while having the courage to live an authentic life. That’s the key that unravels everything—peace, joy, abundance, health.
With each passing year, I have moved towards myself.
Sappy movies always have a happy ending and the one featuring Homer was no different. The young man held on to his beliefs and took a stand.
Homer eventually said to his Dad, “The coal mine is your life. It’s not mine.”
And so now I, too, know the truth. My favorite dress will be made of velvet--with beautiful hues of purple and gold. I’ve been making it for a long time now. It’s almost ready to be worn.
May you find joy, peace and prosperity in 2010.
Allyn Evans
www.allynevans.com
email me!
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Allyn Evans, Authentic Self, Live a Powerful Life
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